From our years of experiences with bereavement, the Grief Encounter Project holds the following metaphilosophy:
- That grieving should be measured in years, not days, weeks or months.
- That people need permission to grieve.
- We prefer to replace the word acceptance with adjustment.
- To dispel the myth that has been developed in the popular press; that we have to pass through the stages of grief to acceptance. Feelings often return following a bereavement, though usually with less intensity. We prefer the Upward Spiral of Grief model. You can see the Grief spiral in the Parents & Carers section.
Message from Grief Encounter Project Director, Shelley Gilbert
“I was orphaned by the time I was 9 years old. Not only did I lose my parents, but I lost my home, my school, my role and my friends... however, to the outside world I appeared fine. The adults around me wanted to protect me from further pain, but if only we could have had conversations and removed the fears.
Foreword by Kevin Wells
In August 2002, Soham became a name synonymous with an unfolding tragedy that captured the intimate attention of the nation.
For two families, losing their precious daughters under such horrendous circumstances meant a life changing event would have to be embraced in the most public of arenas.
Away from the banner headlines the real task of coping with shock, anger, confusion and loss edged ever nearer as the grieving process announced its uninvited arrival. The dawning reality of never seeing, touching or hearing our daughter Holly again, would prove the most difficult task.
As unfathomable emotions continued to surface, the fear of embracing the challenges ahead totally dominated our lives, not just for us, but also our son. What to tell our son Oliver? How to tell him? How was he coping? Could we allay any of his fears? What did the future hold?
The answers were not immediately forthcoming. Over an extended period of time, my wife Nicola and I saw first hand that the grieving process excluded no one, least of all a young boy who had lost his sister.
Grief Encounter addresses the sensitive issues of coping, interacting and nurturing children through bereavement. Every single day many families will experience a completely different reality. For those people touched by tragedy, I hope this website will allow you to channel your love and energy to those that matter most in your life.
